Uhm.. *speechless* -nt-

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: You scare me.. how long did it take to type this??! =) : *places sign : "Beware of MrG"* : : For subtlety: 1 Dictionary (boiled) : : 1 immensley under-challenged wit (un-boiled) : : 3 large glasses of Vodka (preferrably Russian) : : : : Directions: Read dictionary five times and make approximately 70 : : doodles in each margin in the shape of the Chinese symbol : : for all the words on the page. Give up in despair after a half a : : page and the realization you don't know Chinese, which could present : : somewhat of a problem. Drink half a glass of vodka, and steady yourself. : : Repeat for second half of glass. Proceed to dance in circles, chanting. : : Dip heavily boiled dictionary in vodka. Repeat. Place : : dictionary in secluded spot to prevent finding and proceed : : to drink vodka. : : For sarcasm: 1 Trig class filled with people who have way too much time on their : : hands (boiled or un-boiled, the former reccomended) : : 1 Creative Writing class very similar to Trig class (dipped in hot oil) : : 1 large plate of Pie a'la Mode : : 1 large slab of California Cheese (preferrably Spyder's homemade variety) : : 57 large glasses of vodka (preferrably Russian) : : 1 Coconut Monkey drink (refer to PCGamer's disc, Coconut Monkey section) : : Gather classes in large room, and proceed to stir well and vigourously (until : : mushy). Then feed classes cheese until they are quite full. Tell 3 jokes to each : : person (preferrably unfunny ones) until they are all quite confused. Give them each : : 50 glasses of vodka. Usher them out of the room, one by one, except for seven people. : : Take all glasses of vodka from the people that left the room, and if anyone tries to drink : : any, proceed to confuse and torture them with an endless stream of pointless Crossing : : Road jokes. Example ("Why did I cross the road? I didn't. Ha ha ha, get it?") Do not offer : : anyone tea, as it is not in the ingredients (moron). Give 7 people 7 glasses of vodka. Drink : : 20 yourself. Proceed to forcibly take the 7 glasses away and smash them over the people's : : heads in ritual fashion. Drink 25 more glasses of vodka. Drive, fly, or otherwise propel yourself : : Oroville, California, where you will give me your remaining 5 glasses of vodka and your Coconut Monkey : : drink. : : For =P: 1 large tounge of Triuken's (preferrably ground up and sauteed) : : 8 large glasses of.. well, what do you think? : : 1 computer (un-boiled) : : Drive to Germany, where you will find Triuken eating dirt, and give : : him computer. Chop off his tounge and dispose of it in a sanitary fashion. : : Then, have him log onto <a href="http://cymartin.virtualave.net/cgi-bin/as/awesome1.html"> the message board </a> : : where he will type a message containing the phrase: =P. Proceed to propel him in : : some (preferrably painful) way back to Germany so he may resume eating dirt. : : Proceed to drink vodka. : : : : Mike : : DISCLAIMER: I have never drank anything besides 7up and various un-colas (and : : non alcoholic beverges) in my life. Honest. : :

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